you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
