In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
