We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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