The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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