UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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