i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
