Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize