I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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