my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize