"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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