Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
two words: eviction party
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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