I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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