the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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