Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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