To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
