Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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