i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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