I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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