oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
