I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
