I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
