i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
