I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
