so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
