Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
