i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
