she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
