So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
