I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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