I want to make a zoo with you.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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