I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
