There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm passing your future prison.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
