i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
