who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize