The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she peed on how many people?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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