did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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