My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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