Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
