Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I queefed so loud it echoed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
