Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
MIDGETS
????
tell me about the fingering
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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