Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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