Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
