Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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