You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
