You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
