We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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