now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
