I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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