plz talk dirty to me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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