come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
