Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
