I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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