yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
