I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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