OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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