You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
