wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
